It's come to this

Unfortunately, it seems that there has been a lot of tension in my band lately. A LOT.

All because I'm outspoken and sometimes overbearing.
And other members of my band don't like that.

So how do most problems start?
They start with miscommunication. It's as simple as that. Someone heard something through someone else--and then they're enemies for life. It's stupid, petty, and beneath me. I'm not in high school anymore. I'm an adult and I'm starting to act like one.
So, I heard from Ben, Consensus' bassist, that Conner wants me out of the band. Not a surprise, seeing that Conner hasn't liked me since we put out our EP last Fall. But to go behind my back and talk about me with everyone else, you'd think that as a Freshman in college, things would be different. But no, they're not.
Here's the message I wrote.

I'm posting this because this could be the last of my singing career with Consensus.

As everyone knows, there has been a lot of tension at band practices regarding certain people (Conner and Me). Firstly, I would like to apologize to everyone, including Conner, for any sort of inconvenience this has imposed upon our practices. It's pretty obvious that this has been going on since the release of our EP.

Conner and I have tried to work things out, but good communication is hard to come by. I've apologized for my 'too-good' attitude to Conner and so I apologize to the rest of the band. I know that I'm not a perfect person, I'm pretty self-absorbed, but it's who I am. I'm not trying to justify my faults with the whole "it's who I am" I'm just stating this as fact.

I've tried changing to lighten the tension, but anything that I've done has either gone unnoticed or has made my existence in the band miserable. I'm a very outspoken person, but I think you might have seen that these last couple months I've really shut up a lot. It's not easy, when you're a motormouth like me to do that, and I think that I deserve props for trying to change from what Conner and I have spoken about.

Now it appears certain people don't want me to be in this band anymore. I believe that everyone is entitled to an opinion and say-so, not just one person. A band isn't a dictatorship, it's a democracy. It's people working together to make the world a better place with better music. Moreover, I believe that it should be friends working together to better the world. Since I'm not included in a lot of what goes on outside of the band, I'm probably not a friend of many of you. I'm just a singer. And ever since last Fall, I've just been your singer, not your friend, because that's how you've treated me. Perhaps I deserve it.

To clarify, at least so there is no miscommunication between any of us, last fall when we put out our CD, if I ever said anything that sounded bossy, it wasn't meant like that. My suggestions were merely, in my mind at least, meant to improve the status of our band--to better ourselves--to get our music out there so people can hear it. I'm used to a leadership role because that's who I have always been. I'm sorry I didn't do a better job of asking for everyone's suggestions. If I stepped on your toes at any point in my career with this band, I'm also sorry.

As far as I can see, that's when the problem started.

So now, some of you want me out of the band. Well it's a democracy and you can get rid of me as easy as 1-2-3 if you want. I'll leave, you won't have to see or hear from me again. No more Nate Dale, the person that people like to make fun of in front of and behind his back. I'm not a well liked person--for reasons I'm aware of, but you know what. I don't care. If everyone wants me out, I'd rather not be a part of something that doesn't appreciate me being there, and I'd rather not be a part of something where I don't get just as much respect as anyone else in the band.

So let me know your thoughts. If this is another big misunderstanding, please forgive this e-mail and we'll continue on with our existence together. If this is not in vain, however, please communicate with me. I'm tired of hearing all the news down the grape vine. If you've got a problem, grow a pair and tell me. If not, then I guess we're cool.

-Nate



There it is...I'm tired of it. If they want me out, I'll gladly leave to abolish the bullshit drama that has been impeding upon my life for the last few months.