Unfinished sentences--

I'm working on my next novel right now. It's going really well, in fact so well because of the fact that I'm making time to write. (that helps, imagine that!)

I've been so caught up in this book lately, that I've really not a had a lot of time for other things. I've been working on it with all the spare time that I find, which is sometimes gratuitous and other times not. The big thing that is going to happen right now is a car accident. It changes the tone of the entire book and puts my protagonists on an entirely different.

I've got a great way for one protagonist to find out there's been an accident, and--

I HAVEN'T FINISHED THE DAMN SENTENCE!

I am disgracing writers.

(maybe)

(not much to disappoint)

Perhaps I'm waiting for the 'write' time to get it right.

Maybe I'm just too scared to write this scene. It means that my characters can go many different directions, but I know the path that they are soon to follow and it is not a good one. Like any writer, I've been attached to my characters, loving them as I pour my secrets out into their lives. My infatuation with them has led me to be weak. Weak with the notions that I may have to kill off one or two of these people that I've created.

Fictional characters are like children in a sense. You create them, you help them grow, there are mistakes and flaws, but that's common for all. Then their lives become more increasingly interesting. The mistakes become more apparent and you start to see permanent character flaws that they have. You learn to love, hate, despise, and want them. 

Fictional characters are not like children because you can only lead children so far before they start running on their own. Fictional characters do not make their own decisions. They are constantly asking the writer for advice and where to go. They need motivation and purpose and I give that to them. I control their every move, some might say, although I like to believe that my characters are like a movie that I'm not sure how is going to end, although I might have a good idea, nothing is written in stone until I'm finished. (No pun intended).

Right now I feel like my life is an unfinished sentence. I'll start speaking and can't finish it because the ones that I want to hear what I have to say, walk away too soon.

I feel like I'm an immature high schooler, ranting about a girl who didn't want him, so now he is sad. (I'm a freshman in college).

I'm just feeling a little incomplete, like the sentence that needs a few more words to make sense. When I speak, it's as if only half of what I need to say comes out--the other half is left somewhere to rot. Once clever, now forgotten.

But this of course just melodramatic bullshit.

Right?

I mean, it's not like I'm actually

Exactly.