Next Time and When It Doesn't Come

So a lot of people always say that there will be that next time. The next time to hang out, jam out, or just chill out. We take these in stride and think that tomorrow is going to come.

But what happens when tomorrow doesn't come?

Well I've been forced to face this blunt realization a few times today, and over the past year quite a bit.

So firstly I'd like to say that though I didn't know this young man as well as some dude, I know that he was a good guy through and through.

Brandon Dwyer.

Just an average joe, loves partying, sexy women, and playing guitar. I first met him at one of Mo's house warming parties and took an instant liking to him. Perhaps I liked him because he was a nice guy, maybe it was because he played guitar? Either way, I liked him.

Now he's gone.

Dead.

There's no coming back.

There's not going to be a next time.

You see, I always thought there was going to be a next time for us to hang out and jam out and chill out. But I was wrong. The last time I spoke with him was probably over Facebook. He was telling me to come down to Indy and jam out with him. He wanted to jam with me. Now that makes me feel good. Unfortunately, due to unforeseen circumstances, I wasn't able to go and jam. But I said, "Next time."

Now there isn't a next time.

And that's kind of hard to face, isn't it?

Today in EDHI, we were given 16 cards that represented some of the most important things in our lives. These were taken off of a paper that we turned in last week. The cards had four people, four items, four values, and four other random things on them. Each turn, we had to throw away certain cards. We'd never get to see, know, or remember that card ever again. It'd be like it never existed. So I started off by throwing away all of my possessions. I threw away my iPhone, my computer, my car, and a house I'd like to have in the future. I sacrificed it all to keep my friends and family, smiles, love, and hugs. Then the next round came about and I had to throw away a couple of people that I knew I could let go. But I kept two more people that mean a lot to me. I threw away hugs and something else important to me. The next round came about and they asked if we were ready to give up the most important things in our lives. The people that we love and the values that we care about. The next round I threw away smiles. Each round I threw away a loved one, an important value. Finally, I threw away the two most important people in my life--they then asked us what it would be like to never see that person again. To never have a 'next-time.' Finally, the last card I was left with was Love.

Love, it's the most important thing to me because I know even if I were to throw it all away, or have it taken away, Love could reclaim it all. I could get my best friends back, my parents, my values and materials. As the Beatles said, "All you need is love." I agree.

So for now, there isn't going to be a next time.

But next time will be different.

Because for me there is a next time.

For others, there isn't.

I'd have to say that this picture probably sums Brandon up as best as I knew him.

Brandon Dwyer

1986-2009

"Next Time"